l

Si Cruiser mukhang gremlin pag naliligo! xD

From a conversation this morning I realized ..

Husbands get used to you. No matter how perfectly happy you are in your relationship. --There will come a time when they will (momentarily?) forget to remind you how desirable you are. Hahaha.

Pretty soon they stop noticing when you dress up extra nicely for them. Pretty soon, boyfriends, stop telling you how pretty you are and soon will notice another attractive girl. Pretty soon they just stop looking at you, period, unless you get a drastic haircut, which they'll hopefully notice when they look up long enough from playing video games. lol. A girlfriend, after a while, also forgets she is with the hottest man and will still giggle when she sees another cute guy. And so you both, one day, just stop dropping odd compliments to each other every now and then like how you used to in the beginning of your relationship. It happens, it's a phase. After some time, you don't see how 'handsome' or how 'beautiful' your partner is anymore, because you (unconsciously) see beyond that.

p.s.

A constant sweet-honest talk of compliments will be a good practice tho. (:

and husbands, you should always spoil your wives so they will always put up with you!! Hahaha =p

Merry Christmas beautiful people!

I hope you're all warm and fuzzy!!!

(=

+

It feels so good to say

+

I've already received the ultimate gift -Jesus Himself!

My heart is swelling with joy.

+

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LORD!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH...

Our walk in this world should not be a constant pressure on our will to LIVE RIGHT.

finding comfort

Pain is usually viewed as an enemy we must avoid at all costs.

This is true for emotional as well as physical hurt. But pain can also be the unwanted tutor that seeks to multiply our strength, expand our wisdom and deepen our compassion. There is, however, one crucial element. Someone must show you that it is not the end of the world. Someone must help you glimpse the purpose for your hurts. Someone must promise you that your tears are never wasted and that, someday, you will overcome and you will rise again --you will laugh again.

Maybe you had it worse. But I've had my own share of trials. I've had days when I tasted depression, regrets, exhaustion, frustration, anger and anxiety. Yet I find that for every valley I pass through, there is a stream of comfort that runs along it.

The secret is to know where to look.

You may be hurting.. weary..

You may have 'lost everything'. Perhaps you are haunted by your past. Or plagued by disappointment. Or gnawed by bitterness.

When you get to it, things have never changed much for thousands of years. Heartache is still heartache no matter when and where you live.

But God doesn't just let us squirm in the dirt. He loves us, comes down to us, and lifts us up.

Yes HE lifts us up, takes us by the hand, and brings us to the well of water.

We just have to open wide our hearts to Him. For it is only the heart that is open that can welcome the comfort it so desperately thirsts for.

She's a beauty..

And she’s my baby.. :D

This is for you.

I will never turn away anyone who comes to ME.

John 6:17

Repost:

Life is a BIG bully! =p
May 29, 2007

LIFE IS SUCH A BULLY!!! LIFE SOMETIMES KICKS YOU DOWN…..AND SOMETIMES LIFE PUSHES YOU TO COMPROMISE….BUT I FOUND A SECRET DEEP SERENE FLOWING FROM WITHIN… …..AND IT’S BETTER THAN LIFE…BETTER THAN ANYTHING..

HI FELLAS, I AM IN THE NOSTALGIC STATE..
LOOKING BACK HOW I STARTED.. HOW I STRUGGLED AND CRIED FOR A LOT OF THINGS RUSHED INTO MY DIRECTION.. I AM SO NOVICE IN THE SHOWBIZ INDUSTRY HAHA! HONESTLY, I’M JUST TRYING TO COMPOSE MYSELF AND STAY POSITIVE AND FOCUSED.. AND YOU GUYS ARE ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I WOULD LIKE TO STRIVE TO TRY MY BEST AND SOC IT OUT..BUT HEY I HAVE MY LIMITS TOO..JUST LIKE EVEYBODY ELSE. AND EVERYTIME I GO WEARY THERE IS THE SONG IN MY HEART THAT FLOWS TO ENCOURAGE ME……………………………

'THERE IS A VOICE CALLING KEEP GOING..YOU’RE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD..WHO WILL ABLE TO BEAR EVERY BURDEN TO HEAR EVERY HURT IN MY HEART..THERE IS A WONDERFUL POWERFUL PLACE…….LIKE A PEACEFUL CHILD SLEEPIN…….'  NICE EH?….

AND HEY! FRIENDS CONSIDER THIS.. ”SUCCESS HAS MANY FATHERS AND FAILURE IS AN ORPHAN” AND “WHEN YOU LAUGH THE WORLD WILL LAUGH WITH YOU! YOU CRY AND YOU CRY ALONE”….ODD YEH! BUT TRUE…

WHY DO I SOUND LIKE THIS? HERE IT GOES..THE BREAKING NEWS..I GOT SUSPENDED IN SOP FOR A WHOLE MONTH!!! NOT A WEEK OR TWO, BUT A MONTH! YEAH MY BAD! MY DISASTER! WHY AND WHOSE FAULT IS IT???? JUST ME…COZ I DIDN’T WANT TO WEAR A 2 PIECE SWIM SUIT….AND I DIDN’T SHOW UP IN THE OPENING NUMBER LAST SUNDAY …….COZ HMM YEH I WAS LATE…MAYBE PSYCHOLOGICALLY I REALLY WANTED TO BE LATE JUST TO SAVE MY ASS ( OOOPS NOT A TERM BY A NICE LADY! AND UH UH! NAH! I’M NOT ANGRY) ….DO I DESERVE IT??? YOUR JUDGEMENT.

I KNOW MY ACTIONS AND WORDS ARE SUBJECT TO PEOPLES APPROVAL…YEAH YEAH…BUT HEY! C’MON GIMME A BREAK!

SEE, I AM GETTING PARANOID OF WHAT I SAY AND DO COZ I KNOW THEY WILL MAKE A BIG ISSUE OUT OF ALMOST NONE SENSE….. IT'S EITHER I'M MAARTE O PASAWAY. JUST BY STANDING FOR WHAT I THINK IS RIGHT FOR ME. THEY WOULD CREATE NEGATIVE ISSUES ABOUT ME,  AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, IT’S IN THE NEWSPAPER. 

SO IS THE ISSUE DONE? OR DUMB? LET’S SEE…
MORE CIRCUS TO RIDE BUT I WILL REMAIN IN ME THE VALUES THAT GOD HAS EMBEDDED INTO MY HEART NO MATTER WHAT IT COST ME.

SO AM I BITTER? OR BETTER?!

IF I GO BITTER, WHAT GOOD WOULD IT GIVE ME? SO NAH I AM BETTER!!! I CHOOSE TO BE BETTER.

SEE YA GUYS REALLY MIZZ YOU ALL …..I AM SO SORRY IF I AM NOT ABLE TO UPDATE MY BLOG OFTEN…BUT YOU ARE ALL FOREVER ETCHED IN MY HEART…

<3>
Posted by |bear| at 16:51 | Comments (210) | Trackback (1)

...

And I thought I was suppose to be suspended for a month?
Oh well.

I feel so loved!!! :D

So I was a little emotional yesterday.
It’s kind of hard to explain but it’s about my relationship with the Lord. I’m missing Him so much, and like a father to his daughter He is dealing with me about some things. I was just all over an emotional map.

When you are too excited about something..

                       how do you breathe ??

When wife turns into a witch?!

Look what I found while browsing my laptop..
Some of you have already seen this one..
an old entry from my first online blog! (:

I hear a lot about marital issues and they hooked me to create this entry!

This is for the wives.. and for husbands too! and even for gf's/bf's --An awakening thing! =p

What would I like to say here?

A wife is the light of the home (well,supposedly) but if you make the beast out of her,

then expect that the light turns to be a lightning with thunder!! haha!

What a figure of speech huh? .... :p

No, seriously.. this is not about women empowerment nor pro-violence (no way,not even close!!), but this is just to pick up the spirits of those who tried to be the 'best wife' but has many times failed and has not met the expectations. No worries. This world I guess never underestimate the complexity of the wifely duties. Keep goin' .. you're almost there! ;)

**

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Proverbs 31:10

**

To all those wives, who's goin' through a lot in battle.. Go girls! Millions of women are behind you (=

Truth is, generally, a wife turns to be a witch when SHE ENDS UP WITH A JERK!! :O :| :P

LOL ^

Found a couple more.. might post some of it next time.(:

Happy reading!(:

untitled on purpose.

Sometimes the pain is so huge that I want to cry, often times so overjoyed that I can't contain it ...but I don't tell anyone.
There is a tiny, secret part of me that is bitterly amused at the silent martyrdom.

Taming the tongue

What we say and what we don't say are both important.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the captain wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise God, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. This should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

It is true that I won’t be part of Bente anymore. 

First of all, I want you to know that I was really looking forward to do this film. The script was sent to me 2 days before the 1^st shooting day. I refused to play the role and before you hear any reasons from the newspaper or wherever, hear it straight from me. As you have already read from somewhere, there will be a love scene, let me quote from the script “mapusok na naglo-love making si –name of characters-” .. I got shocked. Now please know, it is not a sexy film, and it will be directed by a great and talented director, direk Mel (who is by the way, very gracious and understanding of me), I am sure direk Mel and the team has a plan already of how to execute that particular scene for the movie. I understood the story after reading the whole script. While the goal of the movie (to my understanding) is to show “reality” – the evil of the society, e.g. dirty politics, injustice, immorality, etc.. I cannot do it, not for any other reason but because of personal conviction. The movie is full of violence and swearing, and the character that I was supposed to portray is a teenager who is sexually involved with her boyfriend and worse I have to “act it”. It is beyond my moral standards. I am not saying the movie is wrong, in fact it is correct in a sense that it is true in picking up some of the common problems of  the society, it is very realistic and for that I commend the scriptwriter. I heard that the movie is an “all star cast”, and if I am not mistaken only two of us are “babies” from the business, it would have been really great to be working with all of them. On the first day of shooting my call time was 8:30 am, I arrived almost 2 hours earlier.. When I was having my heart to heart talk with direk Mel, he started by telling me that I am their first and only choice for the role, I was thanking him and telling him how flattered I am but at the same time I was telling him little by little about my dilemma, Imagine how hard it was for me to hear all the recognition from him but at the same time I know as the conversation builds up, it will eventually lead to ‘I can’t do it’.

I know I am an actress and I’m supposed to “act” and give justice to whatever role is given to me, pero mahirap kalaban ang personal conviction and because of that, I cannot compromise. Ever since Starstruck days, "maarte at pasaway" ako because I didn't want to wear clothes that will show a lot of skin. You know I was suspended for not wearing a 2-piece and ramp on national tv; I was really angry because I was asked to attend a photoshoot and I didn’t know it was for a mensmag cover. I have had issues like these. Ang hirap. I regret agreeing to do a kissing scene while doing my first teleserye, cos now people can question me na bakit noon pumayag ako, even then I was only forced to do so. 

I’m going to be honest, I miss working, and I am worried that this incident won’t help me make my network realize that I WANT TO WORK. I really do. ='(

You all heard the phrase:

In these troubled times when people regard each other based on looks, social status and material possessions...

"You Can't Judge A Book By It's Cover"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luRmM1J1sfg

-- Watch and let Susan Boyle put a smile in your heart.. :)

---Oh if I may just add, I personally love Elaine Paige of 'CATS' and Memory is one of my favorite piano pieces.

Get the cross right!

Today I was in church. Every 'Holy friday' our pastor would teach the congregation the 'School of the cross'. It was the first time I attended the School of the cross.. and it was a great decision. Six hours of learning about Jesus' trials, betrayal, and crucifixion. What a fascinating study. If only I can share with you everything I learned in one entry I would!

I thought I wasn't going to blog anything about 'Lenten season'. ..

For me it is a very touchy and sensitive topic that I didn't want to just blog anything about it just for the sake of blogging and then end it with "have a blessed holy week!".

Every "Holy week" we remember what Jesus did on the cross.

Who doesn't know about Jesus...? Yes, of course, every single person on earth must have heard about this Jesus. Jesus, the one who suffered and was crucified on the cross and rose again on the third day of his death. and Judas, the one who betrayed him. Jesus the hero, Judas the villain. Sounds familiar?

I'm sorry, but to many people Jesus is just like a popular actor.

Only popular actors has millions of die-hard fans that follow their lives. Fans who are nosey and who seem to care about everything that is happening in their "idol's" life. Fans who has all the time (or at least try) in the world to show their love and support.. reading news, creating forums and stuff, etc. Looking forward to see their next tv show or film. Fans that are dying to see and meet their favorite actor in person. Forgive me for using that illustration, but it is simple to understand, and we can all relate to it. Whether a fan of an actor or not we are somehow a "fan" of someone or something and I am not saying it is wrong. That is human nature. Nobody pays attention to Jesus though. How many people do you think is interested about Jesus? How many people do care about what Jesus is thinking? What are His desires.. What are His achievements.. How many people do you think finds the time to read the bible? How many people do you think is interested about Jesus' story? How many people are even looking forward to meet that Jesus, the Son of God?

Just like the fans who think they know their favorite (based on what they see and hear), they don't really know him or her, they do not know the whole truth, they do not know the "real story", they do not know them up close and personal so to speak. Not unless they have a direct, personal relationship with the person. It is the same with Jesus. Jesus is the hero and the central of Holy week. But how much do we really know Him?

Do not be satisfied with what you already know -or rather what you only know about Jesus. He died for you, you know that since you're a toddler.... I mean c'mon, aren't you curious of who this Jesus is?!?

Friends, nothing is greater than knowing HIM. Nothing is greater than being a Jesus fanatic. Nothing is greater than being His friend. Nothing is greater than having a personal relationship with our Creator, the Creator of the universe, the Living GOD!

I am not gonna be ashamed of my Jesus. I am not gonna be ashamed of what He has done for you and me. He left His throne in heaven and died for us. And that same JESUS WHO DIED ON THE CROSS, that same Jesus is risen, HE IS ALIVE...seated on His throne in heaven watching you reading this right now.. Do you know His ultimate desire? He wants to have a relationship with you. He is knocking at the door of your heart, He wants to be a part of your life, He wants to be your Lord and Savior.

I am not skilled to understand

What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x's)
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior.

- "I am the way, the truth, and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

Are you pretty? :)

Jeremiah 4:30
'Why do you dress up in beautiful clothing
and put on gold jewelry? Why do you brighten
your eyes with paint and mascara?
Your primping will do you no good!'

1Peter 3:3
'Your beauty should not come from outward
adornment, such as braided hair and wearing
of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it
should be that of your inner self, the unfailing
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.

1Samuel 16:7
'For the Lord does not look at the things
man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart.'

Proverbs 31:30
'Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.'

flying not driving

It's a monday.. I was supposed to go to Bulacan today to visit my grandparents but I got a call from my driver early this morning, he said he can't drive for me today because he is not feeling well. So I am stuck here at home.. and that's kinda sad, cos I was lookin forward to seeing my nanay and tatay today.. you know naman I don't drive, but I do fly planes! lol..
nah- I'm just probably using that as an excuse for not learning how to drive until now! haha. Speaking of my Pilot School (now I just thought of something to blog with a lil more substance, and just thought of a title that would fit too! 'flying not driving'. Why not.).

Ever since tatay duped me into eating those strained peas by pretending that spoonful of mush was an airplane, I've been fascinated with aircrafts, flying, and the wild blue yonder. If I only knew how to fly, I could get away from my humdrum life (and that powerful woman who wants to dictate me all the time and won't let me play outside the house, I call her "mommy" .. haha) and fly free like the birds. But there's a problem: if I don't learn how to fly, I'll drop like a stone and crash. There are only two options: 1) become stinking rich, buy my own airtaxi and hire someone to fly me wherever I want to go, whenever I want, or 2) get a pilot's license. Option 2 is a tad cheaper and more exciting!! <- Some childhood thought.

--I could have been graduated from my first solo flight last year, had the 'fuel economy' cooperated. The gasoline price behavior was so unstable last year, and even the aviation industry was (and still is) majorly affected. The jet fuel climbed up higher and higher like crazy, thus, making it harder for me to get by with the tuition fee that actually doubled since I started. A pilot student pays for the ground schooling and pays separately for the hands on or air maneuver, applying your knowledge from ground school and actually fly that thing..... and you pay per hour. So for instance, I wanted a PPL (Private Pilot License,2 gold epaulettes ), it requires the ground course, plus 40 hours of extensive flight training (*40 hours of flight time of which 20 must be dual instruction, 10 must be solo, and 10 may be either. *3 hours cross-country training, a landing more than 50 nautical miles from the departure airport. *3 hours night training, including 10 takeoffs, patterns, and landings at an airport and one cross-country flight (at least 50 n.m. away and then back). *3 hours of instrument training -- ETC.) Of course there are other exams after completing the 4o hours (if you are good, cos it takes more with some student pilots, logging closer to 60-80 hours before their final check ride), you still have to pass the ATO General and Power plant examinations and there's a 1 hour checkride.. you must first be able to take and successfully pass both Knowledge (General) and Practical (Checkride) Tests which include an oral, written and actual flight examination. Plus you need also to pass a physical examination done by an accredited physical examiner of the ATO. There are 4 types of Pilot Licence ., SPL (Student Pilot License), PPL (4O hrs), CPL (125 hrs), ATPL (ah this is for the senior captains, hehe.)
Anyway, so "this much per hour" times 40 to get your PPL. If I had this fixed amount for my PPL when I enrolled, but the fuel price went up unexpectedly, it exceeded na from how much I was supposed to pay to complete my PPL. It exceeded my reserves and before I knew it, it was taking me longer (on the calendar) to graduate. Although one does not need to pay for all the flight training up front (some aviation school let you pay as you go), in my case I thought it was a good idea to consider whether I had the funds to start toward and reach my goal within a reasonable time period. I started full time right after my last teleseries, that's one of the reasons that kept me busy.

See, not only rotorwing (helicopters) are times 5 more difficult to maneuver than fixedwing (airplanes) aircrafts, but it is also times 5 more expensive.
While flying is certainly not restricted to the fabulously wealthy, it is nevertheless an inexpensive endeavor. I won't forget when I first inquired in an aviation school, I think I was 10 or 11 then and I forced my mom to accompany me. I was so excited, I threw all the questions I had in mind, I don't remember if we were talking directly with the owner of the school, basta she (yeah a she) was in the position to answer all our inquiries and maybe at that time she thought I was some curious crazy little girl lang, haha... Anyway, I remember asking her as she walks us outside the hangar, I asked 'mam how long po will it take for me to finish my pilot training, gusto ko asap', and I remember the exact words I got from her .... "It depends how much money you have!". Okay.... it is not a cheap undertaking.. thought so!

You know, I am sending myself to flying school without any financial support from my family, no I am not asking any single penny from my parents nor from anyone.. and that's my decision. It's not as if I have a choice though, my family was never fond of the idea, as you know human beings are not, by nature, supposed to fly, so it's natural for them to feel some anxiety at the thought of Juju taming that kind of machine, let alone learning how to do anything at 10,000 feet. HAHA. But yeah, it's all cool, I don't mind at all, since it's a gift for myself too. :)

I just want to say, like what I tell my family and friends, that while it's true that flying involves some inherent risks, it is about the safest form of transportation we have - much safer than driving. Cars are involved in 10 times as many accidents per vehicle mile as general aviation aircraft (that is, all aircraft except airliners and military).. :p

So in order for you to do anything about flying an aircraft, you must first get your SPL. And that's not even the first step, you must apply first to get a Student Pilot License, I won't go na into details but getting a pilot license is a very fun and rewarding experience but it ain't that easy. It wasn't for me, it took me awhile, and I was really nervous I wasn't sure if I would pass. It is already an achievement to hold an SPL, after all, that's where you start. :)

To many people, the concept of "pilot" brings with it a certain sense of wonder, mystery and respect - something out of the ordinary. I remember myself sitting in airport waiting lounges, staring with awe and amazement as pilots boarded their aircraft, regal in their uniform suits with braids denoting their rank, donning pilot sunglasses, braided caps, carrying briefcases filled with mysterious papers only pilots could use... and it wasn't only me who would be staring; the rest of the passengers in the terminal would be staring along with me too. I'm sure we would all be thinking along similar lines. After all, what sort of person does it really take to strap himself to a man-made contraption of metal, alloy, glass, plastic, fabric, rubber, thousands of kilograms of fuel, leave the safety of Mother Earth along with the lives of others either intrepid or foolish enough to accompany him, and be able to coax his oversized bird into landing safely back to earth? What does it really take?

It's just so fascinating to me, how at a very young age I knew what I wanted to do.. and I'm actually doing it now.. there are delays yes, but still, Thy will be done.. :)

'Til my next post.
FLY HIGH! just don't get too close to the Sun (your wings might melt). (;